Night. The house is quiet this eve as most of the women are upstairs having a group session. I opted out, for soon Ryan will be here and I’ll be meeting the others for the first time. Jessie is still as vocal as ever, and shows no signs of stopping. Even now, while I sit in this corner writing my thoughts, he’s carrying on. Over and over again about how wrong I am, how I should just go out in a blaze of glory. Ha! I feel I could just shout at him about how he chose to; no. I don’t want to really think about that. Though, shouting never does me any good. He already knows my every thought, and anticipates an argument. Best I just keep my mouth shut – it maintains some form of peace – if I even deserve any.
Naturally, he’d only just disagree and carry on – well, much in the way he is now. Yes, I know you see what I write…you hear it before it even reaches the page. It doesn’t matter, because you chose your ending. I am re-writing mine. Oh, well fine, if you think Ryan and I were better – He’s a good man. He has never touched me, and I wouldn’t – Yes. I understand…and I always will be, but that isn’t the…fine.
Where was I…ah yes. The meeting. I suppose we will be doing the things that we do. Oh, I’m not exactly sure how I will be able to handle a crowded church, but I will do my best to attend. I don’t think it will go well, though. I suppose it just depends on how many people are in attendance. And Ryan will be…no. That’s never a good idea. I’ll have him wait in the car, yes. He should be safe there – it will never be like it was before. No, Jessie…he’s not stupid – it was my mistake that tied him to me. Either way – it’s done already! Let me finish, please. I promise, I’ll do better.
I can’t write with all of your shouting! No, I don’t think I’m a coward…because. I’m choosing to write my replies to you rather than give in to a verbal argume-you know why I can’t yell back. Because they’ll hear me, and they’ll try to stop you again. Exactly my point. So be silent for the few…I just …yes. I heard it too.
The cab is finally here, I’ll write again once this is all over.
Until next time,
P.S. The Misadventures of Flapjack is a highly entertaining children’s show.